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What are some of the benefits of advanced planning?

Many individuals have found that planning for this eventuality in advance makes the process easier, since funeral arrangements made after the death of a loved one can be an emotional and stressful experience. Advanced Planning can also make the funeral service more personal and meaningful for survivors because the wishes of the deceased are made known in advance.

Many funeral homes will prepare your wishes in writing and keep them on file at the funeral home, without having to pay. Or, an estimate can be obtained and you can prepay in advance, locking in the cost of the funeral at today's price.

Different payment options exist for advanced planning, so check with the funeral home. Term financing may be available, and many funeral homes also take credit cards. Some provinces require that advanced planning funds only be accepted by licensed funeral homes, and funds are placed with the Public Trustee or a trust company. Prepayment is refundable any time upon written request.

Many funeral homes offer advanced planning assistance without obligation, and this information can be provided to you in person or sent to your home to review at your own convenience. If you would like more detailed information you may visit our Advanced Planning section within this website.

If you have a question you would like answered by one of our funeral directors (at no obligation),
click here to send us an e-mail.

How can I prearrange my funeral?

One of the benefits of prearranging a funeral is that you don't have to make planning decisions in a hurry. You will have the luxury of being able to talk to a number of funeral homes before deciding on the one you are most comfortable with.

Draw up a "short list" of two or three funeral homes in your area. Most funeral homes will give you information over the phone or by mail, but it may be helpful to make an appointment to discuss the funeral process in person.

Prepare for this meeting in advance:

• Ask yourself about preferences you have regarding the service: traditional or non-religious
• Would you want to be buried or cremated?
• Do you have a particular cemetery in mind?
• What type of music would best reflect your life and passions?
• Are there readings or poems that would add meaning to your ceremony?
• Are there other gestures you would include? (i.e. having a tree planted in your memory; having a faithful pet in attendance; releasing balloons; integrating important cultural traditions)
• Provide information about people who need to be notified in the event of your death
• Make a list of important papers, such as wills or insurance policies, and their location
• Remember to mention religious affiliation, cultural customs, or other meaningful items that could be included in the service
• Think about personal information relating to your life you might want to include in a newspaper notice

If you find yourself hesitating about making these plans, it's natural -discussing and planning for death can be surprisingly difficult. Whether you write your own instructions, or get the help of a funeral home, it's important to let someone know where the information is, so it can easily be found by survivors at the time of death. If you would like further information you may also visit our Advanced Planning section within this website.

If you have a question you would like answered by one of our funeral directors (at no obligation),
click here to send us an e-mail.

What are the appropriate ways of expressing sympathy?

When a friend has suffered a loss, it's sometimes difficult to know how to help. Funeral professionals tell us there is no substitute for a sincere, heart-felt expression of sympathy.

Attend the visitation and funeral if you can - your presence will be a great comfort to those who are grieving. It's not necessary to say much - even "I'm sorry" will mean a lot. Don't try to come up with something profound about life and death, and don't say "I know how you feel" because everybody experiences grief in their own way.

If you cannot attend the service or visitation, send a sympathy card with a little note and talk about special things you remember about the deceased. Your perspective or story will likely provide family with fresh memories they may not have known.

Other expressions include:

• Sending flowers to the service, or a plant to the home
• Have McInnis & Holloway arrange to plant a tree in Fish Creek Memorial Forest
• Offer to phone friends and colleagues to notify them of the death
• Provide babysitting for the family while arrangements are being made
• Pick up relatives at the airport
• Provide baking for the reception after the service, or provide a casserole for the family
• Offer to answer the door or phone for the family, and keep a record of those who called
• On the day of the service, offer to stay behind to ensure the house is not empty, as a precaution against theft
• A memorial contribution

If you have a question you would like answered by one of our funeral directors (at no obligation),
click here to send us an e-mail.

How can I understand my grief, and get help?

Sometimes, grief can be so overwhelming that even normal responses can leave a person feeling as though they are going crazy.

The best way to cope is to recognize grief as a normal reaction to death. Draw on the support of friends and family, and share your honest feelings. You should be able to mention your loved one's name without fear of ruining someone else's day.

Grief is a very necessary process on the path to healing, so be patient with yourself. Counselling should be considered when a person seems to have changed or is acting differently - like becoming unusually withdrawn, fearful or suspicious, acting overwhelmed, expressing a wish to die, or drinking to the point that it's interfering with their daily responsibilities.

Your funeral director will have information about support groups in your area, or you can contact a clergy member, mental health professional or a crisis telephone line for guidance. You may be surprised to find your experiences are completely normal.

If you have a question you would like answered by one of our funeral directors (at no obligation),
click here to send us an e-mail.

How can I create a memorial for a loved one?

A memorial is the creation of a visible and permanent place or marker to recognize and honor the life of one who has died. Remembering the life of a loved one through a memorial tribute can provide important support and closure for family and loved ones.

The choices for memorials are wide and varied. Some ideas for unique memorials include:

• having a stained glass window added to a church to recognize a loved one
• donating a park bench to a city park and having it inscribed with your loved one's name
• creating a memorial home-page on the Internet or world-wide-web
• planting a tree in either Calgary’s Fish Creek Memorial Forest or in Nose Creek Valley Memorial Forest, or in Airdrie’s Fletcher Park Memorial Forest. (to visit our Tree Program section click here)
• placing a grave marker in the cemetery (check the marker requirements with each cemetery)

For those who have chosen cremation, many options exist for memorials surrounding the cremated remains:

• an urn can be purchased for burial or placement in an above-ground columbarium
• create a special memorial vessel to hold the cremated remains, such as a necklace or bracelet

Whatever permanent memorial selected, these unique reminders are a source of comfort for families and friends, because they are something to return to for generations to come.

What are appropriate ways of expressing sympathy?

When a friend has suffered a loss, it's sometimes difficult to know how to help. Funeral professionals tell us there is no substitute for a sincere, heart-felt expression of sympathy.

Attend the funeral if you can - your presence will be a great comfort to those who are grieving. It's not necessary to say much - even "I'm sorry" will mean a lot. Don't try to come up with something profound about life and death, and don't say "I know how you feel" because everybody experiences grief in their own way.

If you cannot attend the service or visitation, send a sympathy card with a little note and talk about special things you remember about the deceased. Your perspective or story will likely provide family with fresh memories they may not have known.

Other expressions include:

• sending flowers to the service, or a plant to the home
• have McInnis & Holloway arrange to plant a tree in Fish Creek Memorial Forest
• offer to phone friends and colleagues to notify them of the death
• provide babysitting for the family while arrangements are being made
• pick up relatives at the airport
• provide baking for the reception after the service, or provide a casserole for the family
• offer to answer the door or phone for the family, and keep a record of those who called on the day of the service, offer to stay behind to ensure the house is not empty, as a precaution against theft of memorial contribution.

If you have a question you would like answered by one of our funeral directors (at no obligation), click here to send us an e-mail.